- People who say “it’s ok” when you just find out you’re not pregnant.
- People who say “maybe you should just not think about it and it’ll happen”… because it doesn’t. What the heck do they know when they’re not in your situation where you’ve tried for years and still getting nowhere.
- People who judge. Shame on you! Because getting pregnant is a normal and common factor and one that over 50% of the women have trouble with nowadays.
- People who say “just relax and it will happen naturally.” Tell them to try and relax when they’re tried as long as you.
- People who tell me just let it be natural and that they would never try IUI or IVF. I think it’s a personal decision and whether you really want a baby! For people that really really want a baby, you’d do ANYTHING to make it happen. Those people who say that are the women who get pregnant easily or already have children. They don’t know anything about how you feel or how much you want a child or what a child would mean to you. They are purely judgmental. Even if it’s for religious reasons, please keep it to yourself. I respect everyone’s decisions on what they don’t want to do but doesn’t mean I agree.
- People who had trouble getting pregnant but tell me that they had no troubles. What is the shame? Come on! So many people have trouble now! Who cares. Sharing is caring.
- People who say it doesn’t matter if they have kids when in fact they LOVE kids. They are equally happy. Ok, tell me that in 20 years when you’re alone with no one else but your husband and you guys have done everything you could possibly do and not have nothing in common with your friends because they’re all busy with their kids stuff. People with no kids try to gather goddaughters and godsons. It’s just NOT the same!
My viewpoint: a child brings a lifetime of happiness. It’s priceless. It doesn’t matter how we got there, what matters is we got there. At the end of the day when you’re holding your baby, you will have forgotten about all the pain and suffering you went through to have this child. I promise, it WILL go away. Everything that you’ve given up on your habits to get pregnant would have been worth it when you see your little one in your hands.
Many women get very emotional every time their IUI or IVF session has failed. It is NORMAL to feel sad but it doesn’t mean you should stop trying. For me, although I was in pain, I felt stronger when I shared and asked for opinions and feedback. The more I talked about and shared my experience, the more I learned from other people. I wasn’t afraid to say I had Endo. I wasn’t afraid to say I tried for almost 2 years. What mattered was I wanted to find answers on how I can improve my next IUI session!!! Ladies, please be goal oriented. Everyone gets emotional but don’t let it deter you away from reaching your goal no matter what other people tell you. Be strong.
People who don’t have children yet don’t understand how amazing the feeling is and when facing IVF or IUI, they worry about cost and insurance. Given if you have the finances, I wouldn’t think it’s a waste to spend every last penny on getting a baby!!! If you really don’t have the finances, I would not be ashamed to borrow to have this baby! So many people borrow money to buy a “CAR” and throughout the course of your life, you’d probably spend an average of $20-30k on each car every five years. Calculate HOW MUCH you’ve spent already on that and now ask yourself, why wouldn’t you spend $15k on an IVF procedure that actually may give you eternal happiness? Will a car give you that? NO WAY! People are not rational. They’ll fight over a coupon but get ripped off buying expensive things elsewhere. That’s a fact of life. We are just irrational beings and we must keep reminding ourselves when the time comes, do the rational thing.
Anyway, my point is: live life with no regrets. Live knowing that you’ve done everything you can in order to reach your goal of having a baby. Do not look back and said “what if I would have done this”… it would have been too late. By then, you’re already infertile.
For those who have tried hard and hard and hard and HARD but still got nowhere for years. I feel you and I respect you. My heart is with you. I thought about it. If I were in that situation, I would 100% consider surrogate then adoption. If none of those work and I am absolute at an age where I can’t get anymore eggs out of me and no adoption center wants me, then I call it quits. It’s a long way from there though for many people.
This message is not for the women who have been trying hard. It’s for the women who are scared to try. It’s for the women running away from their problems. My point is: please face your problem and try to solve it. Do not rely on one doctor or fertility clinic. You never know what they’re up to and no one knows and cares about your body more than you. If anything else, here at Hog Hugs, there are women with problems that will cheer you on!
I’ve been known to be straight forward with my opinions and I apologize if any of my comments of offended you but I’m just saying out loud what many want to say but keep in their hearts. I was told only true friends tell the truth and this is my truth.